Comments for In A Mirror Dimly

Comment on When The Eyes of My Heart Need Enlightened by Sarah S

Sarah S — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:00:00 +0000

Thanks for sharing Shannon! Insightful, as always.

Comment on What to Do About Valentine’s Day {Gift-Giving Gone Wild} by Shannon

Shannon — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:31:13 +0000

Yes, Jess, charm collection at Kays is nice sometimes too – huh?!?! Pretty things are a blessing too!

Comment on What to Do About Valentine’s Day {Gift-Giving Gone Wild} by Shannon

Shannon — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:28:41 +0000

I look forward to being able to love without any hint of self-seeking. Maybe when I see my Jesus face to face I’ll finally be free from it. Until then… we’ll keep wrestling together. OK, Jennifer?!?!

Comment on What to Do About Valentine’s Day {Gift-Giving Gone Wild} by Shannon

Shannon — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:25:47 +0000

Planning is a good thing, I think! No arguments here!

Comment on What to Do About Valentine’s Day {Gift-Giving Gone Wild} by Shannon

Shannon — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:24:41 +0000

I love that time togetehr is a high value!

Comment on What to Do About Valentine’s Day {Gift-Giving Gone Wild} by Shannon

Shannon — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:24:05 +0000

Ahhh, yes. Expectations. They kill us, don’t they?!?!

Comment on What to Do About Valentine’s Day {Gift-Giving Gone Wild} by Shannon

Shannon — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:23:23 +0000

I don’t think that’s the same thing as hinting at all Kara – because it’s just open, honest communication. Rick & I do something similar. It still gives him options and allows him to fun/spontaneaus while honoring your preferences. BUT you also aren’t sneaking around or trying to manipulate him into something. I like it I love your words about “giving from a heart place”. Perfect.

Comment on When The Eyes of My Heart Need Enlightened by Shannon

Shannon — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:51:40 +0000

Yes, yes, Saralyn! The cry of my heart as well!

Comment on What to Do About Valentine’s Day {Gift-Giving Gone Wild} by Kara @ The Chuppies

Kara @ The Chuppies — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 18:35:34 +0000

Hmmnnn…
I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot lately because of the marriage series we’re going through right now. And because between Dec. 14 and Feb. 14th my guy gets hit with our anniversary, Christmas, my birthday and then Valentine’s day

I don’t love the idea of “hinting” because it seems like I’m almost setting my husband up with some sort of odd “test” to see if he can guess what I’m thinking. We’re really trying to be more verbal and honest and open in our communication. On the flip side, it makes me sad to think of telling someone “this-is-what-I-want-you-to-get-me” because honestly, that wrecks the whole heart behind gift-giving for me and in complete honesty, I don’t care tons about getting an actually gift.

We’ve been talking a lot lately about friendship in marriage.
It got me thinking about why it even means something to me to receive a gift…

For me…it’s the part about knowing he was thinking about me…he cared to show that he loves me and knows me and wants to show that love in a concrete way.

So I guess from my perspective, both of the first 2 options kind of wreck that.
If you think about gift-giving from a friendship perspective… (this is part of the current post I’m working on…but maybe I’ll just write it here …thinking about how I give gifts to my friends…I take time to think about who they are and what they enjoy and what would show them I know them and love them.

That’s truly what makes my heart soar…when my husband gives from that heart-place. And I think it’s a skill and sacrifice that we can both work on and work towards…

Now from a practical perspective, my guy works long hours and doesn’t have tons of time to wander around looking for a gift (and he almost starts hyperventilating at the thought of SHOPPING So–this is what I do to “help” (and maybe it’s the same as hinting, but for some reason it feels different to me Whenever I see something that is *me* or that I’d enjoy–an item or experience or restaurant or quote or book link or blog recommendation (kind of along the lines of a pinterest board) I cut it out or make a note or print the page and just stick it in this little envelope I keep, for him to look through if he wants/needs ideas. I feel like it’s a way for him to catch glimpses of the things that make me smile or are meaningful to me or that I’d enjoy doing together and the fact that he actually cares to look, shows me that he really wants to know what I enjoy and who I am.

Anyway–just an idea.
But likewise…I’m trying to be better about noticing who he truly is and what he truly enjoys vs. buying or making him things I “think he should want” (if that makes any sense

Comment on What to Do About Valentine’s Day {Gift-Giving Gone Wild} by Jess

Jess — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:26:48 +0000

I think gifts of any kind should come from the heart. Either well thought out meaning to show one they care or an impromptu that says I was thinking of you. Gifts that are hinted about in a desire to receive don’t seem very meaningful except that “I would buy that myself but let’s see if you get it for me” manner. Trust me I love to receive gifts so this is hard to admit my selfish nature but I can honestly say the most precious gifts I’ve received are not the ones you can purchase in a store. They are the handmade cards or paper weights from school projects, the coupon for time alone with my husband, the pair of earrings my friend made for me that at first were so ugly to me I wasn’t sure I could bring myself to wear. Yet time went by and the earrings happen to be a conversation piece which then brings the story of why they were made for me. So you see a gift to me is from the heart one that has meaning and gesture to why that person thought of me that day. I refuse to hint but if asked what I want for my reply is always “your love, kindness, hugs and prayers” those are the gifts that can be returned without receipts, long lines, and hassles. Still I will say I enjoy the charm collection at Kays from time to time!