Two boys traipsing around the wet yard together. Bare feet. Rain coats bundled tight. It’s pouring rain. You’re going to get the pine needles and grass clippings out of the drain at the back of the yard. “Dad,” he says, “someday when I have my own house…”

And so begins another life lesson. You’re teaching him as you go. What’s so special about cleaning out a drain? Nothing really. Unless you’re doing it with your boy. I’ve always admired that about you. You just sort of teach as a way of life. Oftentimes, it’s not an appointment or a curriculum that you devised. It’s just you, my pastor-teacher husband, spending time with your son as you go through life. And, in this case, it’s not something profound or deeply spiritual. You’re just explaining clogged drains and soppy yards.

But, then again, life is more than clogged drains. Your life reflects that too. Like the times during this week when you sat down with the Bible and continued to lead our family through Acts. No curriculum on this occasion either. Just God’s Word, a passionate teacher, and hungry hearts. I admire the way you’re able to take a big truth and put a simple phrase on it so that the kids remember it. “Don’t just follow the crowd, like they did at Ephesus,” you say. “Don’t follow the crowd,” they remember as they head off to play. It comes up again later when we are talking about a situation at school last year and the message is driven deeper. Life intersects lesson. “Don’t follow the crowd,” they remember.

But your words aren’t the only way you teach. Sometimes you teach them with your example. Like, when you intentionally leave the last pieces of your favorite licorice for each of them. They know black is your favorite so they note the sacrifice. Later, I notice them do the same thing for a buddy and I smile. Lesson learned.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, there are lots of things I love about the way you dad. Our weeks are full of laughter and snuggles and fun because of your fathering. But, on this Father’s Day, I’m particularly thankful for your intentional effort to teach the kids – about life, and character, and especially about Jesus. I learn from you as I observe you actively shaping their worldview. And, I know that I am a better mom because of your influence.

Happy Father’s Day to my Dude of Dudes. You are a wonderful gift from the Giver of all good things to Caleb and Madison.

1969. It was a time of great transition and turbulence in our nation.

We were in the midst of a controversial war. A new president had just taken office. An American astronaut became the first human to set foot on the Moon. The most famous music festival of modern times “WOODSTOCK” took place on a New York Farm in August with more than 350,000 avid music fans in attendance. The Pontiac Firebird Trans Am was introduced. The Beattles released Abbey Road and performed their last public concert on the roof of Apple records.

On this very day in 1969, tragedy struck when the Australian aircraft carrier Melbourne collided with the U.S. destroyer Frank E. Evans in the South China Sea and 74 U.S. sailors were killed.

But June 3, 1969, was significant for another reason. On the other side of the world, another event was taking place. A smaller, but no less profound, moment in time. It was a short ceremony between a man and a woman who were pledging to walk through life together from that moment until death. It probably took less than half-an-hour. There were very few witnesses – they waited to tell family and friends until after the ceremony. There was no wedding party. Not much pomp. She wore a simple, stylish white dress instead of a wedding gown. He a coat and tie instead of a tuxedo. She was a recent high school grad from a simple, country town. He a recently enlisted private in the US Army. Within a few short days they would load everything they owned into their corvette and drive across the country to Fort Carson in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

They didn’t know it at the time for they didn’t give Him much thought, but God was presiding over that moment. He was there, uniting two distinct lives into one flesh. It would be years before they would invite Him from the fringes of their lives into their own hearts and, ultimately, to the Center of their family; but as they celebrate 40 years of marriage today both will readily admit that His grace was there all along. Wooing them; sustaining them; teaching them; even protecting them from themselves!

Today their marriage is a living testimony to the way that God’s grace can so permeate a marriage that by watching it, one gets a glimpse of God’s relationship with His bride, the Church. Their marriage is a picture of God’s greater story.

He by creating a safe haven where she can grow and flourish. Giving her time and encouragement to develop her gifts and passions. Leading with the heart of a servant. Listening to her perspectives and ideas.

She by willingly submitting to his leadership – even when it means a risk for her. Cultivating a dwelling that he loves coming home to. Pursuing excellence to bring him honor.  Biting her tongue when needed. Respecting his thought and initiative in their family and church.

In many ways on this day in 2009, we could say theirs is a charmed life. They are young for empty-nesters and are embarking on a whole new phase of life together.

When he comes home at the end of the work day, she has a creative meal ready and they have great conversation while they sit at the table together – each genuinely interested in the other’s day. Some nights they work in the yard together. Some nights they help a neighbor mow his meadow or serve in their church together. Some nights they simply sit on the deck and listen to the sounds of the woods behind their house together.

They have learned the art of good conversation as well as the ability to sit together in silence. They know each other’s quirks and rhythms – and they’re OK with those. Afterall, they have 40 years of history and practice. 

As I reflect on their marriage, I’m grateful for this legacy. I know that it wasn’t always a charmed life. Like every couple, they entered marriage with their own selfish ambitions and perspectives. Their foundational years were ones of holding God at bay. They were young and spent their first two years displaced from family and friends. Within a few months of saying “I do”, they were pregnant with their first child and then dealing with all the transition a new baby brings. In the years that followed, they would have their share of relational and financial strain. By today’s standards, they could have bailed at any time. But they stuck it out.

And, they didn’t just learn to live together. They learned to live together WELL. Like one of those great, beautiful trees that offers shade and safety and splendor for others. All that cultivating and pruning through all those seasons, year after year, has produced a bountiful harvest.

That harvest is the most precious gift they will ever offer me. For I was that first-born child. For 39 of those 40 years, I’ve been watching and learning. I paid attention as the tree grew. I enjoyed the protection of its branches and the beauty of its fruit. And, now, 17 years into growing my own tree, I will continue that legacy.

Let this day be full of revelry and celebration – both of the tree and the amazing grace of God that has nourished it these 40 years.