When Maddie rolled out of bed at 7:30 this morning, I asked her if she would like to snuggle with me or go watch cartoons with her brother. “Both Mom! It’s Saturday morning and I don’t have to hurry to get anywhere. I have time for both.” I could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke.

Here’s to a day off with no agenda and no rushing. Sometimes we need days with plenty of time for snuggles AND cartoons…with no guilt or regrets.

Words. Wonderful, beautiful words. On the one hand they’re just letters organized on a page. On the other hand, they can be so powerful. Sometimes when I ponder a line of poetry or hear a great song, I’m deeply stirred. Isn’t it amazing when a well-crafted sentence can so capture the thing we are feeling or thinking? Every so often, when it’s something that really resonates with my soul, I want to grab the other people in the room and say, “Hey! Did you hear that? That’s it! He said that so well.” I think that’s why we frame famous quotes and hang them on our walls. We like to repeat and dwell on the great use of words.

On the other hand, nothing can make me recoil like the poor use of words. And, I don’t just mean grammar. I’m talking about careless words or words that are meant to wound. There are some ugly, degrading words in our language. Sometimes, careless words can leave a scar for years and years. In fact, some people live their whole lives in the shadow of ill-spoken words. Just the other day I was saddened by the way I used my words to discourage my kids after a frustrating morning. As I sent them off to school, I wondered how my words would influence their days.

Tim Shriver, Chairman of the Special Olympics, recognized this truth after President Obama’s gaffe last night on The Tonight Show. While supportive and forgiving of President Obama, he also said, “Still, I think it’s important to see that words hurt and words do matter. And these words that, in some respect, can be seen as humiliating or a put down to people with special needs do cause pain and they do result in stereotypes.” Shriver is right. Words do matter. They shape the way we think. Whether they are spoken by the most powerful man in the land or by a kid on the playground. Words impact us.

Unfortunately, we think so much of ourselves that we just spew our words out there before we’ve really evaluated them. And, even more disturbing is that our words are reflective, at some level, of what’s in our hearts. It’s not that our words alone are unchecked. It’s that our hearts and thoughts are unchecked.

Do I think President Obama had malicious intent when he likened his crummy bowling skills to the special olympics? Probably not. I have no idea what was in his heart. But, I do know this. I don’t want a president (or any leader at any level) who just learns to speak well and say inspiring things at the right times. I want a president whose life is marked by integrity, truth, and compassion. Not that his words will always be easy and sweet to hear. Sometimes truth is very painful. But, I want what naturally comes of out his mouth to match what is in his heart. I don’t know if President Obama is that kind of man or not. Time will tell.

Whether he is or not, I do know that I can learn from his mistake. Words have power. How will I use mine today? And, what’s in my heart? I’m reminded of a line from Paul’s letter to the church at Philippi that is a great gauge. “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” As I dwell on truth my heart will be transformed and what comes out of my mouth will naturally be more honorable. I won’t say nasty things because I won’t be thinking them.

I love that the Bible doesn’t just address the externals like a book on good manners or a religious system; rather, it forces me to look at my inner life. If I’m honest, what I find there isn’t always pretty. And, that is exactly where THE Word meets me and transforms me. The wonderful, beautiful Word.

Last Wednesday President Obama signed an executive order creating a White House Council on Women and Girls. He said that the purpose of this council is to ensure that American women and girls are treated fairly in all matters of public policy. As a woman and a mother raising a young girl who will become a woman, I can certainly applaud an initiative to ensure that women are valued and given equal rights in this great nation.

me with my girl

But, I’ve been mulling over the President’s words for the past week, trying to put my finger on the main reason I feel so unsettled about the council. I think I’ve finally landed on the primary source of my angst. Ironically, according to the implications of his speech, President Obama assumes that for a woman to be equal and important in this country, she must be just like a man. The bulk of his speech revolved around her ability to have the same jobs that men have. Basically, we will know that women are valuable in this country when they are doing exactly the same things that men do.

Here’s a quote from his speech: “…when women still earn just 78 cents for every dollar men make; when one in four women still experiences domestic violence in their lifetimes; when women are more than half of our population, but just 17 percent of our Congress; when women are 49 percent of the workforce, but only 3 percent of our Fortune 500 CEOs — when these inequalities stubbornly persist in this country, in this century, then I think we need to ask ourselves some hard questions. I think we need to take a hard look at where we’re falling short, and who we’re leaving out, and what that means for the prosperity and the vitality of our nation.”

Do you catch the subtle assumption? It’s latent, but it’s there. We know that women are undervalued in this country because they aren’t in congress or at the helm of Fortune 500 companies. According to this philosophy, our economic status and our position will be the indicators of our value.

But here are the questions that nag at my heart: What if that’s NOT what makes me valuable as a woman? What if my worth is NOT tied to my rank or my salary? What if I bring a different set of gifts and abilities to our culture and country than men do? What if there is something intrinsic to the very design and fabric of what it means to be “feminine” that makes me suited for different roles in our society?

Yes, I do believe we need to ask ourselves some hard questions. And, yes, the prosperity and vitality of our nation may well depend on it.