I have a confession to make – though I have (sort of) watched football with friends and family for years, I (ahem) have no real idea what anyone but the QB and the kicker actually DO.
Oh, I know they’re all important and that they all have jobs that need done well. I know that some guys are defense and some guys are offense. I know that when a Buckeye takes the football into Michigan’s endzone, it’s time to hoot and holler and do “OH-IO.”
Yada, yada, yada. Give me a little credit here. I get the basic gist of the game. But, ask me the difference between the cornerbacks, the linebackers, the safety and the defensive tackle and you MIGHT just get a blank stare. I mean, hypothetically speaking; of course.
I believe, in fact, that this is the case for many other women. I suspect that most of us throw tailgate parties because we like to make snacks, not because we care THAT much about football. For the most part, I’m fine with this scenario. I mean, when I stand before the Lord at the end of time, I don’t think He’s going to quiz me on my understanding of the linebacker position. So, no biggie, right?
Unless, of course, your son is trying to make first string defense for his school’s 7th grade football team. (Ha, come on ladies. Did you even know that all of the above mentioned positions are on defense? Honestly?)
So, the first order of business for me in anticipating a new school year: learn about football. Why? Because Caleb has discovered that I don’t really know what he’s talking about when he comes home rambling about how coach tried him out at linebacker. How did he make this discovery? Because I followed his rambling by asking if he was disappointed that coach was trying him out on offense.
“Ummm… mom, I said he had me at linebacker.” Silent contemplation for a sec. “You don’t really know what I’m talking about, do you?” BUSTED. So stinkin’ busted.
So, he took me on a date to a local coffee shop and explained the whole thing to me. I like going to coffee shops with my boy. So I listened. Like really listened. Because what’s important to him needs to be important to me.
He was hard-core about it too. Visual aids and the whole nine yeards. He’d explain for a few minutes and then, “OK, mom, so now tell me what I just said.” And in the end, he quized me on the whole thing. Can I brag and tell you I was doing pretty well? Until he threw in the “monster.” What the heck does the monster do? I’ve never even heard of the monster… until now. You might want to know that the monster hangs back with the linebackers. On the strong side. But, he’s not a linebacker. He’s a monster. Then again, you might NOT want to know these things. Unless, of course, you have a 7th grade son who wants to be a defensive tackle. (Not a monster, more’s the pity. I thought monster sounded pretty cool. Wouldn’t you think all the boys would WANT to be the monster? But, I digress…)
If your boy is trying out for defensive tackle… well, then you want to be ready. Because if you pass the quiz, you get this:
And, THAT my mom-friends, makes learning football worth it. Dang, I’ll learn the playbook if I need to.