Mac N' Cheese and Beyond

“Momma,” she said as she sidled up next to me. “I love you.” Sweet pause as she thought for a minute. “And, not just because you make mac n’ cheese.”

I was cooking up Maddie’s favorite meal: mac n’ cheese.

From a box.

The kind with a packet of powdered cheese.

Good and processed.

THAT is Maddie’s idea of a feast. You see, we have a family policy that I don’t cook separate things for each person’s tastes. I make one great, well-thought-out meal and the family eats together. Maddie is polite about it (though she wasn’t always) but she mostly just “puts up” with those meals. I’m pretty sure that she’s holding out for that Kraft box night after night.

So, in order to value each person’s tastes, I make Maddie’s favorite meal sometimes. It goes against every fiber of my being…but I do it. To bless Maddie. And, she gets so stinkin’ excited about it that it makes it worth it.

But, I think it’s really sort of a cruel joke. You see, I pride myself on meals made from scratch and secretly mock things like refrigerated cookie dough. (Sorry to you dear friends who use it. Now you know that I’m mocking you.) For goodness sake, I even whip my own cream most of the time. I like natural ingredients and make an attempt to avoid preservatives and boxed stuff. (Which, is not an easy task in modern-day America.)

After we had Caleb and he was such a good eater, I sort of applauded our parenting. See, I thought, if you just give them variety and don’t waffle on your standards, your kids will eat well. His favorite food: my grandma’s recipe for spinach soup.

Then, God gave me Maddie. The one who would happily exist on chicken nuggets and boxed mac n’ cheese for the rest of her days. (And, maybe a little bit of fruit thrown in here and there for good measure.) I even tried making “homemade” mac n’ cheese for her once. Again, she was polite. But, she really just PREFERS the blue box.

We stuck to our guns and continued to serve her a variety of foods but it just wasn’t as pleasurable with Maddie. She eats what the rest of us eat and has learned to tolerate my made-from-scratch meals. She knows they are good for her and she does appreciate my effort. But, when I whip out that blue box, it’s like I’m speaking LOVE to her soul.

I’ve learned a few lessons from the blue box. First, I’m reminded not to take myself too seriously. I think God must have been laughing when I was patting myself on the back for raising such a good eater in Caleb. He knew Maddie was coming…and that He would have to use the blue box to address my pride. I know it sounds sort of silly, but it’s true.

Second, I’ve learned that we can’t control our children. We can serve up the good stuff and do our best to develop their taste for it. But, in the end, they have to make their own decisions.

Sometimes it will be little stuff like preferences and styles. Sometimes it will be big stuff like issues of character and faith. We give our kids guidelines, we discipline when they cross boundaries, we teach them right from wrong and truth from error, we reward their outstanding choices…but ultimately we can’t control their every appetite.

Sort of like the boy in Caleb’s grade who knows his parents don’t allow candy and such at home. So he has a stash in his locker. And begs things from other kids’ lunches at school.

If we open our eyes, there are lessons to be learned all around us. Even from those horrible blue boxes…