It started with some quiet pondering – I had been wondering what she was thinking. Next thing I knew, she was crying. My tender-hearted Madison was stumbling through the emotions of one of the most painful realities on this earth: people come and go. “But I need Mrs. G,” she wimpered. And, my heart broke for her.

 

You see, we’re in the midst of starting a new campus for our church. For the most part, the whole family is excited about it. While we love our big church, it’s a bit of a drive. The new location will be closer to our home and more reflective of our own community. My husband will be the campus pastor and it is a great fit for his giftings, talents, and passions. There’s just one hitch: some of the people that we have come to love will be staying at the big church and the reality is that we just won’t see them as much.

 

One of those people is Madison’s beloved Mrs. G. Mrs. G is Maddie’s small-group leader on Sunday mornings. Maddie will need to say goodbye, not only to Mrs. G but to Sheridan and Sydney and Megan and some of her other little buddies from that group. And, while I can shepherd her little heart and try to make the goodbye as smooth as possible, the reality is that it IS a goodbye. Maddie is about to be initiated into a lifetime of them.

 

I can attest to that. One of my most precious friends now lives in Nebraska. Another one lives in Colorado. Another in Chicago. On and on it goes. Especially after 15 years of ministry on college campuses – there are people I love all over the country (and world). Even my parents are now 12 hours away. Truth be told, even those old friends who live within the state are too far to maintain really deep ties. Don’t get me wrong, they are absolutely precious to me. Each one of them. Facebook and e-mail help ease the pain some, but it’s not the same as living down the street and sharing life together. The sorrow of goodbye lingers even when I do visit; for I know it is just a visit.

 

I was just at a going-away party for a dear couple in our church. Because I was only just getting to know them, it wasn’t as difficult for me as it was for some of the others. But, I still found myself crying with them. I was moved by the the sincerity of their love and the close of this chapter in their friendship. The friendship will continue but no matter how they try, it WILL be a different chapter. And, that is hard. There’s no way around it. To say otherwise would be to live in a fantasy world.

 

Madison was experiencing that same reality.

 

And, so, I sat on the couch with my daughter. I let her pour out her tears in the safety of my arms. I grieved with her and did my best to really hear her heart.

 

Praise God that He created us for relationship and that makes it hard to say goodbye. Praise God that our hope is in Him and that frees us to keep making new friends at the risk of more goodbyes. Praise God that we can hope for heaven where God will wipe away our tears and that allows us to live with expectation.