I ran into a dear friend this morning. She was dropping off her daughter for a special program at our school, I was dropping off my own kids for their regular school day. We rarely see each other midweek like that. But, as we walked away from our brief interaction, I reflected on how much I love being her friend.
The thing I love about Pam is that time with her makes me a better woman. There are several things that make our friendship enjoyable: it’s comfortable and time-tested. We’ve served in ministry together, we’ve walked through heartbreaking situations together, we’ve laughed (it’s hard NOT to laugh with Pam), we’ve encouraged each other in childrearing, we’ve disagreed and learned to love well even in those moments, and oh, how we’ve talked (we both love words). Now, as our husbands pastor in different churches and our kids are older, we see each other less often; but our history makes it easy to delve right back in.
The thing I love most is that we always talk about things that matter. We sharpen each other as we talk about the day-to-day. There’s accountability and challenge as we both pursue excellence in our inner lives. Oh, don’t get me wrong, we laugh and talk about ridiculous stuff too. But, somehow, it always comes back around to the stuff that really matters. I always leave with courage to keep on. To live with purpose, humility, and grace. To remember that it really all comes back to loving: God and people. Ultimately, Pam points me to Jesus. I love that about our friendship.
Our conversation wasn’t even that long. Ten minutes, maybe. But, those 10 minutes gave me the courage to continue in my desire to stop the Christmas madness and focus my energies back on Jesus.
I hope you have people like that in your life. God created us with relationship in mind. He never intended for us to gut it out alone. If you don’t have a Pam, ask God to lead you to one. Look for opportunities to grow your existing relationships or take a risk to try a Bible study or a book club or something. Something that would move you from conversations about how cold it’s gotten this week to conversations about the stuff that really matters. To the stuff that will last into eternity…
And, oh, that boy of mine. He approaches life with such passion and intensity. And, it shows. On his clothes. Some people can wear their jeans for a few days before a wash. Not my guy. Not the boy who MUST dive for the football at recess. Or climb under the shed when he’s playing hide and seek. Or roll through the mud while wrestling with his buddy in the leaf-strewn back yard.
How I scrub at those jeans. Day after day. Survival has forced me to learn the tricks. Fels Naptha for the grass stains. Spray cleaner for the other stains. Scrub brush and warm water for the mud. I’ve learned to keep his church jeans separate from the rest. And, I adore Sears for their Kidvantage program, for when the holes inevitably come. They always do. He never outgrows them first. The holey knees always come first. It’s been this way as long as I can remember – ever since his toddle morphed into a run. 
But, here’s where the challenge comes full circle: Can I find beauty in those muddy jeans? Could my cringe turn into a smile when I see him round the bend all muddy at school pick-up? Instead of wondering why he’s dirtier than all the other boys, could I encourage him to keep giving it his all? Is it so bad that he likes to throw his whole body into an impossible catch or an unlikely tackle? 
Each scrap represents an investment – them in me and me in them. A conversation or a perspective or a moment in time that shaped me. Sometimes through tears, sometimes laughter. Through various life stages, disappointments and challenges. Walking through the mess of life together, we were impacting each other.
